Jane Saeman asked:


Many people on the dating scene today aren’t there to find “the one” person that they want to settle down with for the rest of their lives. Dating is now a standardized term used for social networking. Although the word implies that those who embark on a dating experience are doing so with romance in mind, the reality is that for most people who date people who have similar interests to their own are more likely to meet again socially with nothing more than a friendship in mind.

While this isn’t so good for anyone who is looking for romance with a view to a long-term monogamous relationship, it’s a positive change to the way that dating has been perceived in the past. At one time there was a lot of anxiety placed on anyone preparing for ‘a date’. They wanted to make a perfect first impression because they wanted their date to like them. They were looking for romance and hoped to find it.

In today’s dating scene, there may well be an underlying hope that one day the romance button may be clicked when meeting someone in a dating situation, but generally expectations are lower with most people looking to just enjoy themselves with someone that they think they have enough sufficient interests in common with to relax and have a little fun. This takes the pressure off the date and allows true personalities to shine rather than ones that are edged with a “best behavior” hang-up!

Western culture in particular is increasingly moving towards a trend of increased work ethic where single people, especially those following a career path, have little time for a serious relationship. The more informal dating rules allow people who are working towards their professional goals a release to get out socially (although some choose their dates selectively in order to use this as a networking opportunity as well as a social one!) and meet with people outside of their professional environment.

There are also an increasing number of people on the dating scene who have been seriously hurt in a previous relationship. They also are looking to connect with others, but they aren’t necessarily ready to entrust their feelings to anyone else at this time. Retired people who have lost their life partner are also among those who are initially looking for friendship rather than romance from a dating experience.

This doesn’t mean however that informal dating doesn’t lead to romance. There’s many a relationship that has started out as one thing and ended as something else. Any long-lasting permanent relationship needs a number of foundation stones that will hold it together during difficult times and one of these is friendship.

If you can find someone whom you like, and trust as a friend, and this relationship grows into a romantic one, then this relationship has a much stronger chance of surviving the long-haul than one that starts with a romantic spark which then fizzles out because there’s nothing else holding it together.

Robert W. Benjamin asked:


Ghost Hunting can be very fun and yet at times it can be one of the most terrifying things you will probably ever do in your life.

The following are just a few of the things folks have encountered during ghost hunting or paranormal investigations:



Smells: These smells can seem to come from no where, and develop instantly and disappear just as fast. The smells are often putrid like rotted meat, or like fresh bowel movements, and are very overpowering at times.



Apparitions: Some spirits appear as barely visible forms, while some become as solid and normal looking as a living person.



Clouds – Mists – Masses: Often fleeting shadows, things seen out of the corners of the eyes are encountered. Or a rolling black mass may appear, sometimes a whispy form like smoke is seen.



Disembodied voices: These are often heard and at times they can be very scary. Imagine being in a darkened room, and having something invisible whisper or even shout in your ear. These are not EVP’s, but normal sounding speech.



Physical Sensations – Some ghost hunters have been touched, pinched, slapped, had their hair pulled, been scratched or even bitten by invisible entities.



Rappings – Scratching – and Knockings: In walls, ceilings and floors. Strange sounds and noises are often heard in haunted locations, as well as hearing what sounds like objects being dropped, or moved in nearby rooms.



Cold spots: Sometimes just before a spirit manifests they draw energy from the surroundings. Often a spot in one area of a room will suddenly become very cold. For example the temperature thoughout a room may average 75 degrees but in one corner or area, the temperature will suddenly plummet to 50 degrees or even colder. This is a sure sign of a spirits presence or a soon manifestation.



Power drains and equipment malfunctions: Like cold spots, when a spirit is drawing energy needed to become solid or more visible, they will often draw-in nearby energy, this energy can also come from batteries in video camers, and other devices. Often cameras, tape recorders, even lights will suddenly go haywire or stop working all together when a spirit is present.



Almost everyone that does ghost hunting believes that there are two types of spirits, human and in-human, the latter are also called demons. I am a born again christian and believe the bible 100%. From my beliefs in the bible as factual. I believe there is only one type of spirit involved in any haunting, and these are in-human or demons.

According to the bible, when we are dead our spirits or souls are present with God, from there we are either granted a life of love and peace in heaven with the creator and the other believers, or we are cast into hell forever, with no chance of escape. The bible also says there is a huge chasm or void that separates the living from the dead, they cannot cross over or communicate with each other. There are other statements in the bible that clearly says that ghosts can not be the spirits or souls of people who have died.

Whether the creatures involved in a haunting are spirits of dead humans or whether they are demons, if one is trying to prove that they truly exist or if you are trying to disprove a haunting, then you must do paranormal investigations as a professional.

A professional Ghost Hunter or paranormal investigator needs to have the right tools. Here I will explain devices that every ghost hunter or paranormal investigator MUST have, if he or she is truly taking the phenomenon as real or as a business, and not as a joke.



Voice Recorder: It doesn’t matter if you use a standard tape recorder or one of the new digital recorders, what does matter is the quality and the ability to use an external microphone. Try to get one that is of good quality, but make sure you get one that has a plug in microphone with a cable or cord so the end of the microphone is away from the recorder. The small all-in-one recorders that have the built in microphones, pick up a lot of the hiss and gear noise from the recorder when they are in record mode. A recorder is a necessity for recording EVP’s. EVP’s also called (electronic voice phenomenom) are a very unique and sometimes frightening thing that is often encountered in a haunted area. What an EVP is, is a voice or other communication that is heard on a tape or digital recorder during playback, that was not heard when the recorder was recording.



Film Camera: Do NOT use a digital camera because the photo will always be questioned as being fake, no matter how good it is, where if you use a film camera, you at least have the negatives as some proof. And unless you buy a high mega-pixel digital camera, the photo quality will be less than a nice cheap 35mm film camera.



Camcorder: A camera is good, but a camcorder is even better. Get one that uses a tape, either the small cassettes or one of the older models that use the full sized VHS tapes. I bought two of these older camcorders for under $75 each recently.



Thermal Imaging scopes or goggles: These capture the upper portion of the infrared light spectrum, which is emitted as heat by objects instead of simply reflected as light. Hotter objects, such as warm bodies, emit more of this light than cooler objects like trees or buildings. Often spirits that manifest have a temperature in their form that stands out in this spectrum, especially if a spirit is present in a cold location.



Night Vision scopes or goggles: These little devices have become very cheap, a nice night vision scope can now be purchased easily for under $200. They work by collecting the tiny amounts of light, including the lower portion of the infrared light spectrum, that are present but may be imperceptible to our eyes, and amplifying it to the point that we can easily observe the image.



Flashlight: Take along two small pocket ones for each team member. What can be worse then exploring a dark cellar or underground area, and having the lights or another flashlight fail.



Walkie Talkies: If you have a group of team members, and you are investigating a large location, walkie talkies are not just a good thing to have, but they can be a life saver at times.



Notebook and pencils: Often any electronic, electrical or other devices may fail in a haunted location, so it’s very wise to carry along a small notebook and some pencils in case you need to keep some valuable notes.



Thermal Scanner: A hand held thermal scanner (thermometer) uses infrared technology to measure the surface temperature of material without touching it. You simply point at your target, pull the trigger and read the temperature on the lit LCD display.



One of the best tools I recommend, is also the cheapest, under $10 U.S. It is a computer software program that is made just for Ghost Hunting and Paranormal Investigations. It’s called ‘Ghost Hunter’. The software is for anyone who explores haunted houses or locations where any type of paranormal activity is occurring. Whether you are trying to gather evidence of the haunting or other proof, this software can help make the job more organized and easier.

Ghost Hunter software was made as a scientific tool, for paranormal researchers that believe in spirits, demons, or ghosts. Researchers can easily keep track of vital data gathered at the haunted locations. With this software you can know at a glance such vital information as; the date and times of the activity, location info, GPS data, telephone numbers, notes, sounds heard, odors detected, temperature anomalies, and more.

You can use the software on location during the investigation with any WINDOWS based notebook Computer or back at home or in the office after the investigation.

For more information and the ability to download and try a free demo version of the ‘Ghost Hunter’ software, please visit the website:

http://www.rb59.com/ghosth

By Robert W. Benjamin

Copyright © 2006

You may publish this article in your ezine, newsletter on your web site as long as it is reprinted in its entirety and without modification except for formatting needs or grammar corrections.

Francis Githinji asked:


Making friends is an art and, you will need to learn some of the things that it takes to get the art. The art of making friends unlike what many think is not complicated at all. You will need to look for vital tips that will actually guide you. To make good friends, we need to be guided and, the following are some of the secrets that will see you learn the art and make the friends that you want and deserve. First, before you say you deserve good friends, it is vital to look at what you are like. Your behavior and mannerisms are directly linked to the kind of people you draw in your life to be your friends. In other words, you will make friends who are just like you. The art of making good friends is about looking for good friends because you are worth good friends. There are no two ways about it and, you will see this to be true in your life. There are other factors that come to play while learning the art and they include the following.

The art of making friends will depend on the age you are at. Your gender will also shape the kind of friendships you get into. Above all, your personality is the key to make friends as we have mentioned earlier. If you are the kind of person who is introverted, the way you make friends will actually be different from the way others make friends. There are several things that will guide you on how exactly you can master the art of making friends in your life. After you have considered the kind of person you are, it is time to look at the areas in which you can improve. For example, if you realize that your traits cannot attract anybody, you can change and look for some virtue to incorporate in your life. This is a place where many fail and it has to do with changing. Many will pretend to be something they are not just to get into friendships that will later die. You must be true to yourself to look for real change if you want to make good friends.

The art of making friends will call to a realization that nobody is perfect. You will make good friends who will make mistakes. Mistakes help us to learn and move on. Therefore, when faced with problems, know that they are not unique to you. When you have this in mind, it is good for you to be friendly when you spot a potential friend. Many wait to meet friends by default. You have to take a deliberate step when looking for friends. However, it is good for you to take it easy not to force things. You cannot force yourself to be somebody’s friend and you will realize that it will take a mutual agreement before you take the relationship to a deeper level. The art is not complicated at all and there is one guide that will see you maintain the friendship in the manner you are supposed to. You should treat others the way you would want to be treated. When you keep this in mind, you will always make relationships you are proud of.

Rebecca Walker asked:


There is always a need for meeting new friends. Meeting new and interesting people can be exciting, and many people enjoy the social aspect that comes with meeting someone for the first time. Furthermore making friends is important psychologically, and it can allow us to unwind and relax and forget about our daily troubles during our leisure time. For companionship and social occasions, friends are crucial in ensuring we have a good time and truly enjoy the experience. Meeting friends online has become a great way to get in touch with people with similar interests, and it can lead to long term friendships lasting for a number of years. In this article, we will look at how best to make friends online, and why making friends over the Internet first can help cement relationships over the longer term.

The first thing you should do if you are looking to make friends or meet new people on the Internet is to locate a social networking website that fits with your requirements, which shouldn’t be a difficult task at all. The Internet is currently in the midst of a revolution whereby social networking sites and others with higher levels of interactivity are coming to the fore. This means that it is easier now than ever before to get involved in shaping the Internet, as it becomes more community focused and personal, and with social networking sites to fit every niche interest area, there are plenty of ways you can get your name out there and get meeting people you want to talk to.

Whether you’re looking for friendship, romance or a combination of the two, social networking platforms are the best way to find the people you want to meet. Simply by registering with a few basic details and establishing a profile, you can present a face to the world to allow anyone who wants to chat to contact you. Whether through instant messenger or some on site communications method, this allows you the chance to chat with people you meet online to build up a level of familiarity and a relationship, eventually helping to kick things off to a great start should you ever go a step further and meet in person.

As we’ve seen, the Internet is a great way of meeting new people and making new friends. By having the ability to talk online first, and working out the personality of the person before you go on to meet in person, you can help filter out those that will become close friends. Additionally, the ability to present yourself with your interests, and look for those with things in common with yourself allows you to find exactly the kind of friends you desire, to form a new social group or simply to talk to about your shared interest. By going online today, you can make new friends and meet interesting and exciting people, in as little as ten minutes with any of these proven ways of meeting others online.

Leonard Lee asked:


This is an important subject to address for like in every field of human endeavor, the metaphysical branch has its charlatans, scoundrels, and manipulators who are ever ready and eager to mislead the earnest seeker of Truth. Students of metaphysics as well as laymen should understand the difference between true spiritual metaphysicians and scoundrels assuming the title. Disciples of the Spirit should be able to discern between metaphysical practices and services of spiritual worth and those objectionable operations of pseudo-metaphysicians that simply mislead the human soul. Too often paranormal practices are erroneously considered as “spiritual.”

The metaphysical path is fraught with many temptations, glamour and illusions, and one could easily fall into the contrived traps of Maya and the Dark forces. Because of the rapid growth of the metaphysical, holistic, and paranormal fields in recent years there have been many unscrupulous individuals entering the profession promoting and advertising themselves excessively hoping to take financial advantage of the public’s interest, curiosity, enthusiasm and ignorance. Most of these people–these frauds–will cheat, lie, deceive, promise you anything that you will want to hear, and please you in order to grab your hard-earned cash. They even go so far as to indulge in immoral practices such as sexual molestation and **** under the pretext of transferring magical power. Often they would resort to stage magic and tricks to mislead one’s senses into believing their “extraordinary” powers and faculties. Even the genuine psychics possessing some power and ability would over-exaggerate the little knowledge or talent that they have. Should they master a single metaphysical art, such as clairvoyance, for instance, they would go so far as to say that they possess the other psychic abilities as well. One should be wary of the persuasive tongue of so-called psychics and metaphysicians. If these spiritual con-men did not involve themselves in the metaphysical field, they would enter any other field with the same hidden despicable motive of self-aggrandizement and ego-promotion.

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, and so-called paranormals are quick to establish themselves as metaphysicians or experts in the psychic/parapsychological/magickal field who actually know very little or have acquired very little metaphysical learning, training and experience. Most psychics read a few books on metaphysics and adopt its associated terms and terminology without a profound understanding of what they truly mean. Students of metaphysics often fall into such glamour as well. They may have read a few books, attended a few seminars or workshops, or even studied under a few Gurus and yet with the little that they acquire, they feel themselves to be knowledgeable in all aspects of metaphysics, and subsequently, they often express spiritual and mental pride. They may even feel disdainful or look condescendingly upon a genuine Guru should they perchance come across one. Ignorant of the characteristics of a true Spiritual Master or Adept, they simply follow those who vainly display unusual powers and knowledge, or those that offer them the instant transference of occult knowledge and the awakening of the serpent power. These students of metaphysics are more seekers of sensation than seekers of God or Truth. The writer of this work have personally read countless books on metaphysics, studied metaphysical teachings of various schools and yet, still feels that he knows so little. Even worst than this, he has come to realize how ignorant he really is from the Cosmic point of view and that there is still so much to learn about the Omniverse. He has come to realize that a question answered only gives rise to several more questions that needs to be answered, ad infinitum. To be knowledgeable of one’s ignorance is positive but to be ignorant of one’s ignorance is negative and blind.

Thus, having said all of the above, it should be realized that professional metaphysical con-men are generally individuals who present themselves as persons whom you would least expect to be frauds.

We would like to quote Dr. Paul Leon Masters, the founder of the University of Metaphysics on this very subject of spiritual con-men, extracted from the newsletter “In Touch” (Feb. 1997):

“Generally, they dress well, are sociable, charming and outgoing. Above all, they speak very spiritually, constantly referring to the Light, to having a better world through the Light. They have learned to prey on the gullibility of true seekers, who in their own honesty and heart, simply accept all of the flowery spiritual phrases used by the metaphysical con man as being representative of what the spiritual con man (and I might add, woman) really is. Christ warned his disciples 2,000 years ago to ‘beware of ravenous wolves masquerading in sheep’s clothing.’ The spiritual con person is very clever. As an example, if ever accused or convicted of anything, he/she will ask that the accusers be forgiven. This con person knows this plays well before a spiritual audience who believe this person certainly has been wrongly accused, because look how really spiritual they are in their forgiveness. It is all an act! In the heart of a sincere person, of course, it is genuine. However, here the reference is to an insincere person. Another sign is that a sincere person, when caught with a hand in the cookie jar, will show some sign of remorse and/or conscience, because the presence of God of Light truly is active in him/her. Not the spiritual con person, who will go into tremendous denial, and whose game is that if it can be denied often enough and vehemently enough, you will begin to believe that he/she is innocent of any wrongdoing.

“Con persons will try to impress you as to their holiness by surrounding themselves with spiritual props. This can take the form of many spiritual books displayed in their office so you may think how spiritually involved they may be. Also, they will surround themselves with symbols, works of art, anything to give the impression of how genuinely spiritual they are. If challenged, they become enormously defensive–that you would even dare to challenge their credibility. How dare you! Remember, an honest spiritual person has nothing to defend against, and therefore, welcomes communication.

“Challenge con persons a little too much and something happens. The true dark side of their nature surfaces. These people, who you are accustomed to hearing speak in joyful, flowery terms of light, suddenly threaten you, becoming the ruthless bastards or bitches they really are. In other words, if the old two-faced spirituality will no longer work with you, they will not hesitate to switch to threats, intimidation, and coercion.

“The old expression, ‘time will tell,’ is a good one to follow. If someone enters your spiritual space who may seem a little too slick, too charming, who speaks and writes in the most flowery of metaphysical terms, do not rush into any spiritual, financial, or professional involvement. Remember, fools rush in where angels fear to tread–so, allow a great deal of ‘time to tell’ whether they are in truth filled with Light or really with DARKNESS.”

To professional metaphysicians psychic frauds are easy to spot; the layman, however, knowing even less than the self-proclaimed paranormal experts, regard these bogus individuals as nothing less than minor gods. These charlatans come and go and their establishments are usually fly-by-night in nature. Involvement with such people could bring adverse effects to one’s personal, social and professional standing. But most importantly, one is led astray spiritually. It is, therefore, advisable to recognize these spiritual and psychic con men in order to prevent oneself from being duped and harmed in any way and to stagnate in one’s spiritual evolution.

An objectionable point to consider is the god-like status given to paranormals by those who are ignorant of the laws of Nature and the true purpose of Life. These paranormals are placed upon pedestals often by hired hands or even by sincere, but ignorant persons caught in the charismatic web of pretenders to power and spirituality. Although the clients or patients of these psychics are seemingly helped in some way, and strongly believe in the appropriateness and value of the services offered by those who proclaim themselves as “metaphysical” experts–the help offered is not permanent, nor does it promote evolutionary growth. On the contrary, psychic help often causes a person’s spiritual unfoldment to stagnate in the mire of matter as we have been alluding and reiterating ever so often.

Just because a person may have success or is accomplished in one line of endeavor does not make that person well-informed or knowledgeable in other fields; and yet we see how low-caliber paranormals are often eager to comment on anything and everything from *** to politics. Nowadays we see how the mass media is being exploited to the full by false prophets who are so keen in making their beastly mark in the minds of men and to be regarded as celebrities. Not only do they present themselves in the printed media but also on television as well. Here we can easily perceive how the latter-day idols mislead human souls by blinding humanity’s Divine Vision of Truth, Reality, Purpose, and Goodness; and presenting false teachings and statements.

It would be wise to be armed with the knowledge of the reality underlying the many psychic frauds and pseudo-metaphysical practices that violates the Law of Harmlessness and deceive sincere persons and which eventually causes stagnation to their soul-growth in their evolutionary journey toward perfection.

The ignorance of the masses are taken advantage of by pseudo-psychics and metaphysicians and it would be helpful to combat this situation by enlightening those who regularly make use of, or plan to make use of the services of people involved in the metaphysical field, and who call themselves “spiritual teachers,” “psychics,” “shamans,” “paranormals,” or “metaphysicians.” Every bona fide metaphysician and the average person on the street should be aware of the true facts and nature of the deceptive and glamorous metaphysical practices filled with sensation and designed only to satisfy human curiosity without properly considering the real needs of the unfolding soul. Persons who are unaware of fraudulent practices and are victims of these metaphysical deceivers may find themselves getting nothing of true worth, aside from the exorcism of their pocket of their hard-earned monthly wage.

Deception may be apparent or it may be subtle. To the discerning person the deceptive methods, both apparent and subtle of pseudo-metaphysicians and psychics can be seen and felt in their mannerism, the way they speak, the way they behave, the demands that they make, the way they present themselves, and the general energy that they radiate. These are all keys revealing the negative nature hiding beneath their pretensions. It is said, by the fruit we shall know the tree and this is a truism especially in the metaphysical field. Professional metaphysicians who are psychically and spiritually developed and knowledgeable, may detect these pretenders to metaphysical knowledge, wisdom and power through spiritual, rational, and psychic means. The spiritual disciple should learn as much as possible how to discern the true from the false so that they may lead others from darkness to Light.

Most of the modern psychic deceivers will make excessive use of metaphysical terminology to sound erudite, and also exploit and misappropriate the little information and knowledge that they acquire through insincere metaphysical studies in order to make a big impression upon people so that the unknowing and innocent ones may be greatly influenced by their heinous machinations. From the very onset their motives for “aiding” people are simply the promotion of their ego–or self-aggrandizement, and the commercialization of the infinitesimal knowledge or psychic ability that they possess for huge financial returns. Basically, there is nothing wrong in offering one’s psychic services to the public and charging a price for it, what is objectionable is that this is often done irresponsibly, excessively, irrationally, and for ignoble reasons. It may be true that some individuals possess a certain psychic ability, however, they often use this as a blatant argument that they possess other “powers” as well. They often exaggerate and brag much and make bombastic statements such as celebrities or governmental people constantly make use of their services, or that they have long studied overseas in Tibet or in India . . . Whether true or not, such statements are egoistic and unprofessional and it is easy to see the stratagem behind these proclamations. Their intentions and machinations are clear as daylight to those who have eyes to see.

One of the most apparent signs that may indicate falseness on the part of pseudo-psychics is their use of fancy titles that is supposed to reveal their “spiritual” standing. All sorts of high-sounding titles are used to impress the public concerning their so-called spiritual status or the many “powers” that they are supposed to possess. Sometimes these titles are legitimate, but most often they are self-given or “purchased.” And even though legitimately and officially given by honorable men or by metaphysical/spiritual/academic institutions, these titles from the spiritual standpoint are just empty labels without any spiritual value. We know a thing by its character and expression, not by its label. With the possession of titles, psychic frauds promote themselves hoping to dupe and exploit the gullible public. The love for titles simply show an egoistic tendency and self-centeredness–a glamorous condition that the disciple of the spiritual path should not be dragged into. The lower nature of man enjoys the glamour of being at the center stage, or in the limelight. Needless to say, metaphysical self-deceivers enjoy promoting their physical image by placing their photographs excessively in books, magazines and advertisements. People with such a personal and egoistic trait seek to control and manipulate others, usually the motive is to instill fear and the acquisition of fame and fortune; and their services to others simply benefit their client’s or “patient’s” earthly natures. What psychics are not conscious of is that most of their services and wares do not promote spiritual evolution–they neither liberate nor cause enlightenment–which are important goals in the higher aspects of metaphysics. It is factually true that being in this world one should strive to improve it; it is also vitally important for us to transcend our earthly condition–our personality, our earthly desires, and our dualistic, delusive thinking. Our condition can be compared to being in prison. Even-though we may strive to improve our surroundings while in jail so as to experience the maximum comfort, our prime objective is to be released from it so as to acquire a greater life experience.

The problem of titles also applies to the graduates of academic and religious institutions. Though one may legitimately receive the title “Doctor” in the field of metaphysics, or “Reverend,” “Ulama,” “Romo,” “Swami,” “Yogi,” “Lama,” “Ki,” “Kyai,” “Ustad” and “Sri,” etc., as a priestly or sacred title in the field of religion or mysticism, it does not indicate that the person bearing it is spiritual, holy or magically powerful in any way. We make this statement from the standpoint of being both a Doctor and a Minister–and the right given to wear the esoteric title of “Ki,” designating a titile of respect in Indonesian occultism–so realize that there are no pretensions on our part as well. Often title holders are deluded in this respect and are victims of spiritual pride. This is a glamorous illusion that all spiritual aspirants, that all on the path of spiritual unfoldment must overcome.

We appeal to title or degree holders to maintain humility and a sense of goodwill and love for their fellow men, with a desire to serve God and the higher Spiritual Intelligences. Titles mean nothing. One’s spiritual standing has to be manifested and proved sincerely on a daily basis without the thought of any praise or recognition from the mouths of men. The old adage declares that one should practice what one preaches.

Traditional teachings also warn us not to be the “blind leading the blind.” Most paranormals or psychics deceive themselves as to their self-importance, power, and ability. They overestimate themselves while at the same time belittling other metaphysicians who may be the genuine article. They believe that all that they receive psychically are true, that their spirit guides are infallible, that their visions are God-sent, that their predictions must come true, that their work are beneficial to humanity. Concerning the latter, it may be factual that some of their services are of value on a short-term basis, but in the long run their help may cause soul-stagnation, as mentioned before–and this is the unseen danger.

Most commercial psychics are under the impression that they are truly helping others, but in fact, are causing great harm in the process. The Dark Forces work in such a way: they offer you wonderful “trinkets” that would make you happy and seemingly solve your worldly problems but in the process cause you to forget your soul-purpose and spiritual journey. Most psychics and so-called priests of Religion are unaware that they are the instruments of “Iblis,” or the Fallen One.

Copyright © 2006 Luxamore

Alex Vasilevski asked:


Shy people can find it challenging to make friends especially if they are amongst people they don’t know. Would you like to have the skills to start conversation and make friends with total strangers? It is not so difficult and frightening as you think as with little effort and practice you can start right now. Even better once you learn how it will become second nature to you, each time it will be easier, you will overcome shyness and making friends will become pleasure instead of torture.

The first thing to understand is that your shyness can end up being a real gift. Why? Because most of the time, people would rather talk than listen. It is human nature. So if you want to learn how to make friends all you have to know is how to get people to talk to you. Now this is easy once you understand what people like to talk about the most. Themselves.

That’s right, if you want to get people to talk to you just ask them about themselves. Now, of course you are going to run into people who are more private and may be reluctant to do this. In this case, find out what they are interested in and get them to talk about it. Ask how long they have been doing it; ask why they started and why they like it so much. Then just let them go and listen. Knowing how to make friends is all about being able to keep a good conversation going. Get someone to talk about what they are interested in and you’ll hardly have to talk at all. Pretty soon, they’ll wonder the same thing about you. By then it ought to be easy to have your turn.

That said, let me give you a few tips on how to make friends by starting these kinds of conversations and keeping them going:

· Practice talking to people you don’t know:

You can start small and work your way up. Make it a goal today to say hello to at least one person who you don’t know. Do this for one week and then begin to also ask them “How are you today?” Once this becomes a habit, pick two people a day until you are saying this to everyone who you can. You will be surprised at how easy it becomes after some practice.

· Compliment them or ask for their advice

These are both powerful ways to earn someone’s respect right away. Of course, you may not always be in a position to ask someone for advice. That’s when you go for the compliment. Don’t worry about what you are going to say next, the conversation may not go anywhere and that’s OK. The point is that if you get into the habit of doing this that you are going to run into some people who will help move the conversation along.

These simple steps will make a world of difference; just imagine where you could be one year from now! So go ahead and work on putting them into practice. Soon you will learn that knowing how to make friends is something even shy people can learn.

G Kumar asked:


Vedic Astrology Lesson 15

The twelve dimensions of life are represented by the twelve houses of the Zodiac.

The rising Sign at the Eastern Horizon is known as the Ascendant and is the First House. First House represents personality and fame. The native’s complexion is indicated by the color of the Ascendant lord ( brownish if the Ascendant lord is Jupiter ) and the color of the planets aspecting the Ascendant .

If the Ascendant lord is exalted or aspected by a benefic in Amsa in own house or friend’s house, posited in quadrants or trines, the native will be blessed with wealth, happiness and the eightfold Siddhis or paranormal powers.

If on the other hand, the Ascendant lord is weak, debilitated, with malefic planets, in inimical Amsa and aspected by malefics, the native will be unhealthy, poor and will be indulging in self-destruction.

If the North Node is posited in the Ascendant with malefics, he will be insulted by people. He will be tormented by enemies and crooks.

The Effects of the Ascendant Lord in the 12 Houses

The Ascendant lord in the Ascendant If the ascendant lord is in the ascendant itself, the native will be famous automatically. Endowed with material happiness he/she will be known for his/her independent spirit to live by own efforts. The native will be fickleminded. The native will maintain multiple interests in unrelated subjects & people. The native will always be alert physically & mentally. Chances are that he/she will visit foreign or far away lands. He/she will be endowed with fame & wealth. They command respect in their circle. They will have a magnetic personality & majestic appearance. They will be endowed with personal magnetism & charisma.

The Ascendant lord in the Second House Since the lord of the ascendant is in the 2nd house the native will be graced by scholarship. They will be blessed by many outstanding qualities. They will be spiritual and religious by nature. They will have a charming, magnetic personality. They will be blessed by the gift of the gab or the divine gift of articulate speech. They will impress others by eyes which are penetrating and by articulate abilities. They will have domestic happiness. They will be sweet- tongued and graceful in speech. It is said that Goddess of Speech will reside in them indicating poetic & communication abilities.

The Ascendant lord in the Third House Since the lord of the ascendant is in the 3rd house, the native’s courage will be indomitable. His/her actions may be considered unorthodox and unconventional by society. They know that character is the greatest wealth and they should not let anything mar their reputation. He/she have the potential to become a great musician. Similarly if they develop their mathematical abilities they can become great mathe- maticians. They should be careful about their health. They are able to maintain parallel interest or relationships with different individuals.

The Ascendant lord in the Fourth House Since the ascendant lord is in the 4th house the native will be born in an aristocratic family. The native will generally be good looking and ambitious. He/she will be a workaholic and prosperity is sustained by hard work. The native is well behaved in society. He/she will have good physique & and impressive personality. They will have happiness from mother. They will be blessed by a house and conveyances. They will have a lot of friends. They become famous amidst their circle. They become a leader amidst friends & relatives. Uncles may be favourable to them. They will have a good house with all comforts.

The Ascendant lord in the Fifth House Since the ascendant lord is in the 5th, fame will come to the native by its own. They become aggressive and belligerent. They may gain the good will of the political parties in power. It is quite likely that they will benefit from commercial & diplomatic services. They will shine in Govt Service. They will get the support of officials and seniors. They will be lucky in speculation and they know the adage ” You can’t accumulate if you don’t speculate”. If they use their intellect they can be lucky in investments. The speculative stock market has its charms for them.

The Ascendant lord in the Sixth House Since the ascendant lord is in the 6th they will be courageous and distinguished. They will be financially OK. They employ means that are not above board. There may be debts which they are capable of paying in time. They may join the armed forces and reach a high official position. They will be helped by brothers and sisters. They may be employed in the health sector. They are advised to care of their health. Enemies they will have in plenty and they have to be careful about their machinations. Their success may generate jeal- ousy amongst their enemies. They will be successful generally.

The Ascendant lord in the Seventh House Since the ascendant lord is in the 7th they have to be careful about the health of their partner. It is quite likely that they may develop vairagya and turn to asceticism during the latter part of their life. They may wander without gaining momentum. They experience vicissitudes and moods always alternate between dejection & elat- ion. They may end up in a foreign country. They may examine people & ideas in order to get at Truth. They will become famous & trustworthy. He/she will have a powerful personality with penetrating eyes.

The Ascendant lord in the Eighth House Since the ascendant lord is in the 8th the native will be a scholar with excellent academic records. They will have to be careful about their health. They should avoid gambling & speculation. They have love & interest for occultism. They may give chances to others to ques- tion their character. Unfortunate events may invade their life. They may try to escape tension by taking to drugs, alcohol & day dreams instead of meditation & prayer. These tension relieving tendencies should be controlled. Many deaths in the family may be witnessed.

Ascendant lord in the Ninth House Since the native’s ascendant lord is in the 9th they will be fortunate as regards luck both material & spiritual. Oratorial skills & commu- nication ability will be well developed. He/she will be known as a silver tongued orator. They are dignified and majestic and will be well appreciated by the opposite ***. They are likely to inherit a paternal legacy. They will have domestic happiness. They will be deeply spiritual and religious. They will be devoted to the prece- ptors and God. Philosophy & Religion will sway them & they may take to asceticism during the latter part of their life.

The Ascendant lord in the Tenth House Since the ascendant lord is in the 10th the native will have professional enhancement & reputation. They will enjoy parental happiness It is likely that they may feel stifled by parental authority. Ascendant lord in the 10th is excellent for fame in the professional sphere. When they show their sense of discipline and workaholism it will be appreciated by the seniors and thereby they will earn fame name and patronage. They will grow up in the right direction only. He/she will be a self made man with self made wealth. They may have income from many sources.

The Ascendant lord in the Eleventh House Since the ascendant lord is in the 11th the native will be inclined to beauty and harmony in music, art and romance. They associate freely with all, particularly with the opposite ***. They are advised to guard against marital infidelity. They will be subject to delays or difficulties in marriage. They will not experience financial difficulties. They will succeed in business and their fiscal success will be due to their elder brother. Elder sisters will also be fav- ourable to them. As far as gains are concerned they will make prof- its commensurate with their abilities.

The Ascendant lord in the Twelfth House The native has to be careful with money as he/she are likely to be a spendthrift. They have a duality or polarity in their character which they must bring into harmony. Beware of gambling. They believe in the principle that Right means for the right ends. They will fare well in education. They derive more pleasure serving than being served and from giving than receiving. They are likely to become altruists consecrating their life for the welfare of their fellowmen. They have self control & mastery of the senses.

More quality information about Vedic Astrology & an Astrological

Analysis can be had from
Astrology” title=”http://www.astrologiavedica.com/html/numerology.htm

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Astrology & Gemology

Flawless gems are auspicious and flawed gems are a source of misfortune. Richard Shaw Brown, Jr ( www.agt-gems.com) writes that the Vedic texts which state that pure flawless gems have auspicious powers ( Garuda Purana, Agni Purana) are correct. ” After 25 years of researching and experimenting with gemstones, it is our carefully considered opinion that the Vedic texts are correct. Flawed gems are simply a source of misfortune, not to mention their being ugly ! Think about it ! How many people are prepared to tolerate defects in their clothing, or any other personal items they possess?. Even a single scratch on a nice automobile is an eyesore, so why do people tolerate flawed gems? “

Howard Beckman ( www.p-g-a.org ) writes that different Chakras absorb different cosmic colors and nourish particular glands in the body.

Diseases can be cured by using appropriate gems.

More information about Planetary Gemology & a FREE Gem Prescription

Report can be had from www.holistic-alt.com

Regulation of Breath “Breathlessness is deathlessness ” averrs Yoga. Regulation of breath gives tremendous relaxation.Pranayama, without the help of a bona fide Master, can lead to serious complications. What is needed is the practice of breathing deeply ( as deeply as possible ) through both the nostrils & then slowly breathing out ( without breath retention ). This kind of regulated deep breathing can be done at any time, even in your office. Psychosomatic pain can be alleviated by these simple yogic techniques more effectively than allopathic pills or tablets. Here we employ the internal pharmacy of Skill power in lieu of the external pharmacy of Pill Power!

Vedic Holistic Medicine ( Ayurveda) gives priority to the Whole and not to the parts, contrary to chemotherapy which treats the parts only.

More info about Ayurveda can be had from
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Astrology & Occult Vibratory Chemistry ( Tantra )

Tantra focusses on the Chit-Shakti, the Consciousness-Force latent in the Universe. The entire Universe is the play and display of this Cosmic Force and this Force is latent in human beings as the Kundalini. She rises from the Root Chakra to the Crown Chakra during Meditation. Tantra is a similar discipline like Yoga and is very important from the Divine perspective.

More quality information about Tantra & Yantras can be had from
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Article by G Kumar, Astrologer, writer & programmer of www.eastrovedica.com. Recently he was awarded a Certificate by the Planetary Gemologists Association Global ( www.p-g-a.org ) as a Planetary Gem Advisor. He has 25 years psychic research experience in the esoteric arts. To subscribe to his free informative Ezine, the Z Files mailto:info@eastrovedica.com?subject=SubscribeZF. His Astro blog is up at www.zodiacastrology.blogspot.com & his Philosophy blog is transcendentalphilosophy.blogspot.com Mobile 091 9388556053

Leonard Lee asked:


SOME POINTS TO CONSIDER AND REMEMBER

1. Before looking for causes of your personal problems and their solutions in the metaphysical world and field, look for them in the physical realm. This also applies to phenomena that you may not understand. Instead of believing that they are supernatural in nature, first rationalize if their causes are not of a physical character.

2. Avoid systems of paranormal or metaphysical development that do not stress or lay down spiritual principles as their foundation. Those that teach metaphysics without the basic spiritual, ethical, and moral precepts are unknowingly the instruments of the Dark forces that ever seek to delay the spiritual progress of humanity.

3. Avoid metaphysical schools and teachers that offer “instant” psychic or spiritual unfoldment. These schools and teachers are not aware of the short-term and long-term adverse effects of their methodology. This is not to say that their methods do not work. What we are implying here is that there are dangers that they are ignorant of. Though they may think, feel and declare that dangers do not exist, dangers are inherent and do exist in any forced psychic growth. If you are seriously and sincerely interested in studying metaphysics, then we suggest that you find yourself a genuine teacher or school with genuine spiritual traditions, lineage, and roots. Their instructions and guidance are life-long and not limited to a short-course of study. They will teach you how to unfold spiritually and psychically naturally, and not force your growth in any way whatsoever.

4. Avoid paranormals and metaphysicians that make bombastic claims and advertise themselves excessively. The genuine metaphysician does not make much use of advertisements. He or she knows that their helpfulness to the public would spread from mouth to mouth. It is just an ego-trip that makes paranormals advertise themselves glamorously. Let us reason this out: even medical doctors and psychologists who serve the public do not advertise themselves in a glamorous fashion, why then should paranormals reduce themselves below the level of other social servants? The psychological reasons are usually insecurity, a sense of inferiority, ego-centeredness, or malice.

5. Avoid teachers of psychicism that commercialize their teachings or services in an irrational and ostentatious manner. They would overcharge you for their services, and make you dependent upon them so that you would return to them again and again. The genuine metaphysician will help you to help yourself and not seemingly help you but enriching themselves financially in the process. Please recognize the difference. We do not imply here that it is wrong for the metaphysician to charge for his services. On the contrary, charging for services is an acceptable practice in any field. What should be avoided are seeking aid from paranormals making irrational and excessive demands. Paranormals or metaphysicians making strange and unethical demands should be avoided at all cost.

6. Avoid dubious characters posing as paranormals, metaphysicians, adepts, Spiritual Gurus, Masters and Teachers. Always learn as much as you can of their character, their motives and purpose before establishing a Guru-Chela (Disciple) relationship with them or seeking their help in any way.

7. Be cautious of the services, wares, and products of paranormals. Disregard any predictions that they make concerning your future. Fortune telling is a dangerous pastime when taken too seriously. Genuine metaphysicians will hardly predict someone’s future. The acceptance of one’s predicted “future” causes passivity and submission and this a true metaphysician will not allow. He will not teach or cause one to accept one’s fate but instead teach how to create one’s future. One is to be a cause of one’s well-being and happiness and not be the receiving end of some adversity caused by external forces.

The Characteristics of a Spiritual Master

We would like to point out some of the qualities of an adept or a true spiritual Master of Metaphysics. By making this list it is hoped that the metaphysical student will know a true Master when he meets one and also to discover the right goals of attainment, the characteristics that should be acquired in order to reach Mastership; however, we caution the reader not to superficially adopt these characteristics in order to misrepresent themselves as Masters.

A Master expresses beauty in everything he/she says, with every physical movement, with every glance. He is likewise deeply sensitive to beauty in all forms.

A Master never directs attention to himself. He never indulges in self-aggrandizement, self-promotion, self-centered thought, self-centeredness, etc. He is egoless.

A Master has a strong, steady gaze that penetrates the soul. They often seem to be looking into the infinite distance.

A Master has deep respect for all members of the kingdoms of Nature.

A Master’s very presence radiates power.

Unconditional love is a basic quality of a Master. A Master never judges. He is always impersonal, detached and compassionate.

A true Master is a Master of Wisdom. His understanding of life and Cosmic laws far exceeds those of the average person.

A Master though possessing some or all spiritual and psychic powers have renounced their use except for emergencies and urgencies. He, therefore, will hardly ever reveal to anyone that he has them.

A Master never commands he simply suggest, he never instills fear but awakens courage. He never makes you feel bad of yourself; on the contrary, he helps you build self-esteem.

As a rule, a Master never predicts a person’s future and he never flatters the human ego.

A Master will always lead and direct you to the ultimate goal. Though he may teach the lower laws, truths and forces applicable to the improvement of mundane life he will not place too much emphasis upon them instructing that the phenomenal world is nothing but a dream and is illusory from the absolute perspective. He will direct your attention to more important matters.

A Master seldom speaks of his past, of himself, of his background, etc., unless it is pertinent and useful as illustrations in the conveyance of spiritual teachings to others.

A Master is detached from the occurrences of mundane life and the effects of human experience. He would never feel psychological pain should he find himself in adverse conditions, neither would he feel too overjoyed in times of prosperity. He is psychologically stable and centered, and is in a constant state of bliss at all times no matter what the outer circumstance.

A Master is universal and non-sectarian in his attitudes. He sees all men as an expression of the Supreme regardless of their religious leanings, their color, race, sex, etc. Though a Master may not be religious, he is deeply spiritual.

A true Master is creatively original. Being enlightened by his own divine essence a Master would teach or even write books directly from his heart and own experience. He would never plagiarize the work of another or teach things that are outmoded. It should be realized though that most Masters do not write many books–they leave that to their disciples.

Masters do not argue. They know that no amount of argument would convince the skeptic, and to those who are true seekers no argument would be necessary. They also never proclaim or reveal their spiritual status and speak only when their words are beneficial and cause positive motion. Masters, are therefore, usually reticent.

A Master embodies most, if not all of the divine virtues.

A Master is sweet, simple, and childlike; but when they focus their attention upon the problems of humanity they are a fount of wisdom.

A Master is often unpredictable, and his ways are not always understood.

A true spiritual Master never engages or indulges in low psychic activities. A Master serves by awakening the slumbering soul within man.

Although compassionate, a Master never sympathize with the feelings of the human ego for he does not recognize imperfection, he is simply aware of the perfection of God indwelling in the divine spark within microcosmic man.

A Master has no longer any egoic desires, he no longer functions from the personality level; he has long given up his human will in favor of the expression of the Divine Will of God.

A Master never complains, he knows no suffering for he transcends it. He also knows no death for his consciousness goes way beyond the confines of time and space.

A true Master does not hasten a student’s psychic growth prematurely by any “transference” of power. He always predominately concentrates upon raising the consciousness, improving the character, the spirituality, and increasing the wisdom and the understanding of his students.

A Master never judges the outer person of others but looks into the depths of their soul for value.

A Master never makes others feel guilty or sinful in any way, however, he does lead others from darkness into Light.

Although detached, impersonal, and sometimes seemingly aloof, a Master is full of affection for his chelas (students).

A Master appreciates every small service that is offered to him and the great work of manifesting the Divine Plan.

Perhaps one of the most outstanding and admirable characteristics of Spiritual Masters is that they do not consider themselves as Masters. This is their humility. They know that they still have a considerable amount of things to master and learn; they are so much aware that they are still undergoing the learning process and are embarrassed to call themselves “Masters” or have anyone else call them that.

By explaining the above the writer of this article does not imply in any way that he’s a Spiritual Master–far from it. The road where he is standing still extends to the unseen distance. In any case, it is not for the human ego to assert. We emphasize the principle that by the fruits we shall know the tree. In truth, the human ego is nothing–God everything. In performing their divine and spiritual duties Spiritual Masters declare: “It is not I that works but the ‘Father’ within me.”

Copyright © 2006 Luxamore

Mike Samadi asked:


Doesn’t matter who you are, first you are a human. God’s creation, and God’s gift to the world. Whether you believe in him or not, we are all brought to this world (born) to serve our purpose, to live and experience the ups and downs of life, to cry and laugh, to share the same with others. You know that this life’s eternity is not promised to anyone. What we do on earth is the reflection of how we want to be treated. As we leave this world, some of us want to be remembered for our good deeds and some may not want to be remembered at all. The choices are yet our own.

Whether you believe in God or not, whatever your goal in life is, I hope the article below puts tears of JOY, LOVE and HOPE in your eyes, heart and mind. I hope it pushes you closer to your friends and brighten your days as you’ll do the same for others. My repeated message has been “Do to others as you want to be done to you.”

The following article has no mention of finances, credit repair or credit score. It is all about you, the God’s creation and your love for another human being.

Best of luck.

Mike Samadi

THE OLD FISHERMAN

Our house was directly across the street from the clinic entrance of Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore . We lived downstairs and rented the upstairs rooms to out-patients at the Clinic.

One summer evening as I was fixing supper, there was a knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man. “Why, he’s hardly taller than my eight-year-old,” I thought as I stared at the stooped, shriveled body.

But the appalling thing was his face, lopsided from swelling, red and raw Yet, his voice was pleasant as he said, “Good evening. I’ve come to see if you’ve a room for just one night. I came for a treatment this morning from the eastern shore, and there’s no bus ’till morning.”

He told me he’d been hunting for a room since noon but with no success; no one seemed to have a room. “I guess it’s my face. I know it looks terrible, but my doctor says with a few more treatments…”

For a moment I hesitated, but his next words convinced me: “I could sleep in this rocking chair on the porch. My bus leaves early in the morning.” I told him we would find him a bed, but to rest on the porch.

I went inside and finished getting supper. When we were ready, I asked the old man if he would join us. “No thank you. I have plenty” And he held up a brown paper bag.

When I had finished the dishes, I went out on the porch to talk with him a few minutes. It didn’t take a long time to see that this old man had an oversized heart crowded into that tiny body. He told me he fished for a living to support his daughter, her five children and her husband, who was hopelessly crippled from a back injury.

He didn’t tell it by way of complaint; in fact, every other sentence was prefaced with thanks to God for a blessing. He was grateful that no pain accompanied his disease, which was apparently a form of skin cancer. He thanked God for giving him the strength to keep going.

At bedtime, we put a camp cot in the children’s room for him. When I got up in the morning, the bed linens were neatly folded, and the little man was out on the porch.

He refused breakfast, but just before he left for his bus, haltingly, as if asking a great favor, he said, “Could I please come back and stay the next time I have a treatment?

I won’t put you out a bit. I can sleep fine in a chair.” He paused a moment and then added, “Your children made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my face, but children don’t seem to mind.” I told him he was welcome to come again.

And on his next trip he arrived a little after seven in the morning. As a gift, he brought a big fish and a quart of the largest oysters I had ever seen. He said he had shucked them that morning before he left so that they’d be nice and fresh. I knew his bus left at 4 a.m. , and I wondered what time he had to get up in order to do this for us.

In the years he came to stay overnight with us there was never a time that he did not bring us fish or oysters or vegetables from his garden.

Other times we received packages in the mail, always by special delivery; fish and oysters packed in a box of fresh young spinach or kale, every leaf carefully washed. Knowing that he must walk three miles to mail these and knowing how little money he had made the gifts doubly precious.

When I received these little remembrances, I often thought of a comment our next-door neighbor made after he left that first morning. “Did you keep that awful looking man last night? I turned him away! You can lose roomers by putting up such people!”

Maybe we did lose roomers once or twice but, oh! If only they could have known him, perhaps their illness would have been easier to bear. I know our family always will be grateful to have known him; from him we learned what it was to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.

Recently I was visiting a friend who has a greenhouse. As she showed me her flowers, we came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise, it was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket. I thought to myself, “If this were my plant, I’d put it in the loveliest container I had!”

My friend changed my mind. “I ran short of pots,” she explained, “and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn’t mind starting out in this old pail. It’s just for a little while, till I can put it out in the garden.”

She must have wondered why I laughed so delightedly, but I was imagining just such a scene in heaven. There’s an especially beautiful one, “God might have said when he came to the soul of the sweet old fisherman. “He won’t mind starting in this small body.”

All this happened long ago — and now, in God’s garden, how tall this lovely soul must stand.

The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

Friends are very special. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear and they share a word of praise. Show your friends how much you care.

Pass this on, and brighten someone’s day.

Nothing will happen if you do not decide to pass it along.

The only thing that will happen if you do pass it on is that someone might smile (or cry like I did…)~ because of you!

**********************************************************************************

Friends are special Hugs from GOD!

The Author of “the Old Fisherman” is someone other than Mike Samadi. They have no affiliations

Any questions?  Go to Q & A of www.MasterCreditRepair.net, read and post.  Go to the “Comment” page and post your story or comment.

 

Dock Murphy asked:


Cooperation is the key to success in any business and workers who can work together can mean the difference between success or failure. By making friends with co-workers it can ease competition for the affection of the boss and help allay any suspicion that you are going to stab the other folks in the back to further your own career. Being friends does not necessarily mean going out to dinner and having family picnics in the park together, but it does mean that in the workplace, a spirit of cooperation can go a long way to show that you and your friends have the best interests in the company at heart.

There may also be times when you fall behind in your work and with friends in the office, they might be more tempted to help you through a few rough spots than if you treat them as adversaries in the workplace. They will also be more amenable to come to your defense if a project is not done exactly right.

On the flip side, you will have to repay them in kind, by covering for them while they are on vacation or they require assistance on a project in which they are involved. The hard part comes in when the friendship exceeds the boundaries of the office. If for some reason the people develop a dislike for each other while participating in an activity outside the office, it could have detrimental effect on their workplace demeanor.

While friendships between co-workers on the same level in the pecking order are generally acceptable, it is never a good idea to try to be friends with the boss. Others may see this as an attempt to cozy up to the boss and if the supervisor does become friends with an underling, it could prompt accusations of favoritism. Any one who supervises others should never begin a friendship outside of work with a person who reports directly or indirectly to them.

If a friendship develops between to people on the same rung of the corporate ladder, they should keep in mind the possibility of one being promoted to higher position and know the friendship will most likely be in trouble as a result. It can really cause a friendship to become strained if one is appointed as the other’s supervisor on a temporary basis, as there may be attempts to use the friendship to receive special considerations. Whenever one is promoted over the other, regardless of what they say, there will probably be hard feelings directed at the one with the new position.

Romantic friendships in an office rarely work out, and when they break up it can lead to uncomfortable consequences for them as well as for their co-workers. Friendships can work out in the office, provided they are maintained on a professional level.