John Vespasian asked:


Every few years, investigative reporters uncover scandals of some religious or social movement which, under the pretence of improving the world, serves only to enrich its leaders. This sort of exploitative phenomena are not new. Abundant examples of similar cases can be found in sources from previous centuries.

Why do these abusive situations repeat themselves so frequently? What allows those harmful schemes to attract thousands of victims in different countries and historical periods? The response lies before our eyes: individuals feel alone and want to belong to a closely-knit group, even if that entails paying the highest price.

Men and women wish to be part of a community. We all desire to feel needed and appreciated. In a harsh city environment, a polite sentence or gesture may constitute a shocking act of generosity. Even self-serving, abject flattery can work once in a while in situations that have become so dehumanized that people are starving to hear a few nice words.

Isolation creates psychological vulnerability, which, on many occasions, turns into long-term dependence and subservience. Sociologists have come up with sophisticated theories to explain why people fall prey to heartless manipulators, but do we need a long chain of reasoning when direct observation can provide the answer?

The fundamental cause of such pernicious relationships is a false theory of friendship. It is a fact that, from infancy to retirement, men get together, talk, and cooperate. Although we see friendships begin everyday and fail every hour, in advantageous or disruptive conditions, we seldom take the time to reflect how the process works.

When it comes to making friends, commonplace advice has become integrated in the dominant culture to such an extent that it reigns uncontested. Traditional guidelines have been recycled and rehashed without much regard to veracity or scientific proof. Here are some bromides that are often served as entrée, main course, and dessert:

1. Smile to random strangers.

2. Do not express unpopular ideas.

3. Avoid making controversial statements.

4. Listen to others and never contest their views openly.

5. Do not attract undue attention.

6. Show interest in whatever stories people choose to tell you.

7. Be flexible and avoid making clear-cut statements.

8. Do not antagonize others by bringing up sensitive subjects.

9. Cultivate small talk and avoid criticizing people.

10. Do not embarrass others by pointing out obvious contradictions.

The list could be extended to comprise a hundred commandments. The issue is to determine whether those recommendations lead to friendship or to something else. What are the results of following such advice?
Exhortations to avoid personal conflict may be meant to protect your career, but they possess a fatal weakness. Their effectiveness in hiding your true opinions becomes, at the same time, the poison that prevents you from developing any kind of deep, satisfying, involved personal relation.

Rational people do not choose their friends amongst those who avoid firm commitments, appear self-effacing, and sugar-coat their remarks. Playing down your personal views in order to please strangers will certainly minimize the amount of conflict in your life, but it will also render you invisible to potential friends, that is, those who share your values and convictions.

Being yourself is the first step to build satisfactory relationships. If you choose to dissimulate your interests and beliefs for the sake of conformity, you might be accepted by a certain community, but only as an empty human shell. Is it worth it to give up your personality in order to enter a space where you essentially don’t belong?

From time to time, when a situation so requires, it may be advisable for you to refrain speaking out your mind. Those cases tend to be exceptional in modern society. As a general rule, a man is better off by letting his philosophy inspire his words and gestures so that others can see him the way he is. In practical terms, this is what an open attitude entails:

* Reserve your acts of kindness for people you like.

* Do discuss about ideas, principles, and ethics.

* If you believe that you are objectively right, take a clear position.

* Remain open to examine evidence that contradicts your views.

* When you make a mistake, apologize, and learn for the future.

* Be polite, but if someone tries to force something upon you, just say no.

* By pointing out contradictions to people who are willing to listen, you might prevent a catastrophe from occurring.

* Seek truth and steer clear of insincere people. Liars are the sort of persons that you don’t want to have in your life.

* Choose deep, involved conversations over nonsensical, time-wasting trite.

A realistic theory of friendship begins with a commonality of interests and values. A life filled with empty social engagements is tantamount to an endless nightmare from which you never wake up. Seek out people who appreciate profound discussions and share your rational beliefs.

Offer consistency between form and substance and fly high the flag of your convictions. Be yourself and you will not fail to attract your perfect social match. True friendship is what binds those who share the same road and move forward in the same direction.

JOHN VESPASIAN writes about rational living and is the author of the novel “When Everything Fails, Try This.” He has resided in New York, Madrid, Paris and Munich. His stories reflect the values of entrepreneurship, tolerance and self-reliance. See John Vespasian’s blog about rational living.

http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com/

Nick Sanders asked:


Most students study abroad with the intent of making new friends and immersing themselves in a new culture and new community. However, many students end up forming a group with other students from their home country and not making the most of the brilliant opportunity they have. The first thing to do when you decide to study abroad is to work on gaining self confidence, and read some news reports on the country you are going too. Give yourself some background knowledge and something to talk about. Then, make sure you know enough of the language to have conversations with others.

When you reach your destination country, remember that you are going to have to put effort into making friends. Local students may seem standoffish, but are probably just waiting for you to break the ice. The first group of students to start with is other international students studying with you. These are students in your situation, and will want to make friends too. You can make a variety of friends from different countries in this way, and find people to socialise with and practise the country’s language with.

Next, don’t presume that orientation seminars or ice breaker events are pointless, as they are there to help you make friends. Activities such as sticking your name to your head or talking about yourself for two minutes may seem daunting, but will help you make global friendships. Attend a few, and you’ll make many friends in a very easy way. Universities hold these events to encourage everyone to make friends, and they are usually tried and tested methods.

If you want to make friends with locals, you will then need to arrange social gatherings outside of university time. Make sure you are always safe and that somebody knows where you are; make sure you aren’t wandering alone, and take money and a map. Go to different surroundings, and see who you’ll meet there. You might meet friends in malls or clubs, or less obvious places such as coffee shops. Remember that as long as you are friendly and polite most people will respond positively to you, and try talking to different groups of people. Local teenagers will know the best places to hang out, but local adults will know where to get cheap or fresh food, and where student deals are available. However, make sure that you know the customs of the local area, and try not to offend anyone. Watch what you wear and say, and if you are somewhere with strong beliefs, then you should adhere to them. Cover yourself up if necessary, or take off your jewellery. If you meet a special someone, keep public displays to a minimum and research the local laws for your area. In some countries, kissing outside can gain you a caution! Your university should have information on the area if you need some, or try googling it. You will struggle to make friends if you don’t appear to respect the country’s boundaries.

Finally, there is nothing wrong with becoming friends with other people from your home country, but don’t limit yourself. While you will probably become best friends with someone who is at your Uni, you will miss out on a lot of the pleasures of being a student studying abroad if you don’t make the most of the social opportunities it gives you. Remember to use your language skills, take photos and make friends, and you’ll have a brilliant time.

Ernie Fitzpatrick asked:


Our military will be able to rack the enemy with ronot insects by the end of the year. First we had the drones in the sky that couldn’t be seen and now we’re about to have these little robot insects crawling around the floor and even buzzing our neighborhoods. It’s a different form of “remote viewing” than the term originally meant. So, let’s go there.

I believe the Mayans, Sumerians, and other ancient cultures were into remote viewing long before our military came up with the idea. Remote viewing (RV) refers to a procedure through which a person can supposedly gather information on a remote target that is hidden from physical view and typically separated from the viewer at some distance through paranormal means. That’ll lose a lot of people- the word paranormal!

The term was introduced by parapsychologists Russell Targ and Harold Puthoff in 1974.

Remote viewing was popularized in the 1990s, following the declassification of documents related to the Stargate Project, a $20 million dollar U.S. Federal Government sponsored research program to determine the possibility of psychic phenomena, and any potential military application. The program was terminated in 1995, citing a lack of evidence that demonstrated the program had any value to the intelligence community- which means it does have value!

Which means they don’t want the world to have what they think they have.

As with other forms of extra-sensory perception, no claims of remote viewing have been validated by the scientific community. Of course not, Critics have demonstrated that clues inadvertently revealed by researchers explain how purported remote viewers can obtain information on remote viewing locations. The problem is we know people who can do this!

We’re now living in such a time of increased global consciousness that transpersonal actualities, not just possibilities are becoming more and more common. As the world becomes smaller and smaller, as we find cameras on every street corner, and as the universe shrinks, more and more people will get accustomed to knowing more about everything.

Are you ready for that?

Christian Jacobsen asked:


By day, Ogden appears as a typical small town in Utah, but by night, this quiet little community awakens more than its share of spooky happenings.

Ogden was not always such a friendly community. In the late 19th century it was full of opium dens and brothels along 25th Street. Many were connected by underground tunnels that were the scenes of violent acts. In fact, for a short time, Ogden was known as the “murder capital” of the West! Today, walk along 25th Street at night and you may hear the sound of popping noises on the pavement. This was where the *********** would drop dried beans from second story windows to attract customers. Some believe many are still there still looking for business.

The Bellshire Hospital, once an old mental facility, has a violent past and has been the scene of many paranormal sightings. Legend has it, the doctor managing the hospital had a reputation for implementing experimental treatment methods on patients. Today people have heard blood curdling screams that seem to come out of thin air, or see figures staring out of the windows. An encounter with a young girl occurred during a recent ghost hunt. Today, the hospital has been converted to an interactive fright theater during the Halloween season.

The Ben Lomond Hotel is a popular destination by ghost seekers. Apparently in the 1940’s a woman staying at the hotel got word that her son died in World War II. She returned home, but she must have enjoyed her stay because many say her spirit has returned and haunts the hallways. There are accounts of the elevator stopping at floors where no button has been pushed. The front desk has received calls from room 1106 when no one is occupying the room. If you visit, be sure to request one of the haunted rooms.

The Union Railroad Station was once a temporary morgue where spirit sightings and unexplained events are common. The most popular tale (with many versions), is of a lady in a blue dress who was arguing with her lover. She quickly turns to run away, steps in front of an oncoming train and is killed instantly. The figure of a woman dressed in blue and crying while running across the rail yard has been spotted over and over.

Dead Haven was a popular Halloween haunted house that has its own eerie past. Although it’s entertained many uses over the years, the building in the 1920’s was a farm implement store located in the wrong part of town. Two apartments across the street burned down, killing 2 occupants, and the area was the site of many accidental deaths and murders. Paranormal experts theorize that there are still wandering souls in the area. Ghostly figures have been spotted and the sound of children’s laughter has been heard at night when the building was empty.

Members of Utah Paranormal Exploration and Research spent an evening staking out the corridors of this creepy place in search of hard evidence of a haunting. In one of their recordings, a voice could plainly be heard saying, “Who’s there?” Other than some flashlights that suddenly refused to work, and shots of a bobbing light appearing through the camcorder of another investigator, the night was fairly uneventful.