Jane Saeman asked:


Many people on the dating scene today aren’t there to find “the one” person that they want to settle down with for the rest of their lives. Dating is now a standardized term used for social networking. Although the word implies that those who embark on a dating experience are doing so with romance in mind, the reality is that for most people who date people who have similar interests to their own are more likely to meet again socially with nothing more than a friendship in mind.

While this isn’t so good for anyone who is looking for romance with a view to a long-term monogamous relationship, it’s a positive change to the way that dating has been perceived in the past. At one time there was a lot of anxiety placed on anyone preparing for ‘a date’. They wanted to make a perfect first impression because they wanted their date to like them. They were looking for romance and hoped to find it.

In today’s dating scene, there may well be an underlying hope that one day the romance button may be clicked when meeting someone in a dating situation, but generally expectations are lower with most people looking to just enjoy themselves with someone that they think they have enough sufficient interests in common with to relax and have a little fun. This takes the pressure off the date and allows true personalities to shine rather than ones that are edged with a “best behavior” hang-up!

Western culture in particular is increasingly moving towards a trend of increased work ethic where single people, especially those following a career path, have little time for a serious relationship. The more informal dating rules allow people who are working towards their professional goals a release to get out socially (although some choose their dates selectively in order to use this as a networking opportunity as well as a social one!) and meet with people outside of their professional environment.
There are also an increasing number of people on the dating scene who have been seriously hurt in a previous relationship. They also are looking to connect with others, but they aren’t necessarily ready to entrust their feelings to anyone else at this time. Retired people who have lost their life partner are also among those who are initially looking for friendship rather than romance from a dating experience.

This doesn’t mean however that informal dating doesn’t lead to romance. There’s many a relationship that has started out as one thing and ended as something else. Any long-lasting permanent relationship needs a number of foundation stones that will hold it together during difficult times and one of these is friendship.

If you can find someone whom you like, and trust as a friend, and this relationship grows into a romantic one, then this relationship has a much stronger chance of surviving the long-haul than one that starts with a romantic spark which then fizzles out because there’s nothing else holding it together.

Alan Prince asked:


It appears that online dating has come to stay with us. But for many people, especially the very busy people, they have used only dating or matchmaking sites hitherto.

And not a few of these people have been scammed of their money via these sites.

Rather than use dating or matchmaking sites alone, here is a list of some other places where you can possibly make friends, and maybe get dates.

The major advantage in these places is that you can discuss matters of mutual interest, which tends to draw you closer.

1. Yahoo Groups: Yahoo as well as other major mail portals has groups where you can interact with people from all across the world.

They have groups on almost every topic under the sun. You can join a group in the areas of your interest, start to make posts and get to meet new people and make friends.

2. Friendship networks: myspace, hi5 and so on provide fora for you to meet with other people. These sites are specially made for social networking, and you can take advantage of this opportunity.

3. Volunteer Groups/Communities: There are some places where you can offer support and help to other people who are in need as at that moment.

What you should have at the back of your mind is that many times, what you know or have experienced before could be of immense help to many other people.

You could look for such a group of people online and join that community.

It could be a divorce group, or a health and fitness community among others.

You should consider joining that community of people and help others out of your knowledge and experiences.

In turn, you get to meet new people with whom you can interact.

In all these groups, it is advisable that you go there with the aim of giving out before getting.

Many people go into such groups or places with the sole aim of getting what they want.

Hardly do they care about what other people want or their needs .

Be sensitive to the needs of others in such communities and you will soon have many friends.

Many people complain about not having friends. There is no reason at all for anyone to be without friends.

All you need to do is to be a good friend, a person that people want to be with.

Once you are ready to help others and to be a part of their life in some way, you will soon have more friends than you can cope with.

And it will just be a matter of time before you start getting dates.