Jane Saeman asked:


Many people on the dating scene today aren’t there to find “the one” person that they want to settle down with for the rest of their lives. Dating is now a standardized term used for social networking. Although the word implies that those who embark on a dating experience are doing so with romance in mind, the reality is that for most people who date people who have similar interests to their own are more likely to meet again socially with nothing more than a friendship in mind.

While this isn’t so good for anyone who is looking for romance with a view to a long-term monogamous relationship, it’s a positive change to the way that dating has been perceived in the past. At one time there was a lot of anxiety placed on anyone preparing for ‘a date’. They wanted to make a perfect first impression because they wanted their date to like them. They were looking for romance and hoped to find it.

In today’s dating scene, there may well be an underlying hope that one day the romance button may be clicked when meeting someone in a dating situation, but generally expectations are lower with most people looking to just enjoy themselves with someone that they think they have enough sufficient interests in common with to relax and have a little fun. This takes the pressure off the date and allows true personalities to shine rather than ones that are edged with a “best behavior” hang-up!

Western culture in particular is increasingly moving towards a trend of increased work ethic where single people, especially those following a career path, have little time for a serious relationship. The more informal dating rules allow people who are working towards their professional goals a release to get out socially (although some choose their dates selectively in order to use this as a networking opportunity as well as a social one!) and meet with people outside of their professional environment.
There are also an increasing number of people on the dating scene who have been seriously hurt in a previous relationship. They also are looking to connect with others, but they aren’t necessarily ready to entrust their feelings to anyone else at this time. Retired people who have lost their life partner are also among those who are initially looking for friendship rather than romance from a dating experience.

This doesn’t mean however that informal dating doesn’t lead to romance. There’s many a relationship that has started out as one thing and ended as something else. Any long-lasting permanent relationship needs a number of foundation stones that will hold it together during difficult times and one of these is friendship.

If you can find someone whom you like, and trust as a friend, and this relationship grows into a romantic one, then this relationship has a much stronger chance of surviving the long-haul than one that starts with a romantic spark which then fizzles out because there’s nothing else holding it together.

Ray Shane asked:


A free friendship dating site is a blessing in disguise for many people who have not found any success with speed dating sites or romantic dating sites or other varieties of internet dating sites.

Free of Cost Friendship Website

The main advantage of hooking up with a free friendship dating site is that firstly, the registration process is free and you can create your account and search through the data base absolutely free of cost.

In a reputed friendship site where registration is 100% free (though you have to upgrade and become a paid member to send messages) you can create a peppy profile, interact with a huge member base and take a look at their profiles, indulge in blogging sessions, send emails and chats and instant messages etc. In short you will get to enjoy all the features of a paid online dating service or friendship site without having to pay anything!



Set Your Own Pace for Relaxed Friendship Dating

A free friendship dating site will allow you to proceed in the dating game at your own comfortable pace without hurrying you on. And these friendship websites are very easy to use and won’t leave you confused through intricacies that are difficult to comprehend.

All that you need to do to meet men online or meet ladies online and make friends online free is to sign up, create your profile, search through or browse through hundreds of member profiles, send friend requests to those you like or accept friend requests from members if you like their profile and you can simply start scrapping them or leave behind comments in their diaries or scrapbooks to carry on with the friendship. You can use smileys or graphics or instant messages as conversation starters.

And these friendship websites are pretty flexible with time. You don’t run the fear of getting unsubscribed after 3 months or 6 months due to non payment of fees. There is no membership deadline as such and most people remain loyal subscribers of a good and trusted friendship site for years and years, taking their own time to judge people or meet more new people. There is no attached rider like expiry of membership period and you can make as many new friends as you like for 4 years or 10 years.

Wider Scope and Larger Database to Choose Friends from

In a free friendship site, it is possible to meet people from all walks of life, from all ethnicities, from all religious or communal groups and you have the scope to explore your options from a larger database of members as maximum numbers of people prefer to join a free friendship site.

John Vespasian asked:


Every few years, investigative reporters uncover scandals of some religious or social movement which, under the pretence of improving the world, serves only to enrich its leaders. This sort of exploitative phenomena are not new. Abundant examples of similar cases can be found in sources from previous centuries.

Why do these abusive situations repeat themselves so frequently? What allows those harmful schemes to attract thousands of victims in different countries and historical periods? The response lies before our eyes: individuals feel alone and want to belong to a closely-knit group, even if that entails paying the highest price.

Men and women wish to be part of a community. We all desire to feel needed and appreciated. In a harsh city environment, a polite sentence or gesture may constitute a shocking act of generosity. Even self-serving, abject flattery can work once in a while in situations that have become so dehumanized that people are starving to hear a few nice words.

Isolation creates psychological vulnerability, which, on many occasions, turns into long-term dependence and subservience. Sociologists have come up with sophisticated theories to explain why people fall prey to heartless manipulators, but do we need a long chain of reasoning when direct observation can provide the answer?

The fundamental cause of such pernicious relationships is a false theory of friendship. It is a fact that, from infancy to retirement, men get together, talk, and cooperate. Although we see friendships begin everyday and fail every hour, in advantageous or disruptive conditions, we seldom take the time to reflect how the process works.

When it comes to making friends, commonplace advice has become integrated in the dominant culture to such an extent that it reigns uncontested. Traditional guidelines have been recycled and rehashed without much regard to veracity or scientific proof. Here are some bromides that are often served as entrée, main course, and dessert:

1. Smile to random strangers.

2. Do not express unpopular ideas.

3. Avoid making controversial statements.

4. Listen to others and never contest their views openly.

5. Do not attract undue attention.

6. Show interest in whatever stories people choose to tell you.

7. Be flexible and avoid making clear-cut statements.

8. Do not antagonize others by bringing up sensitive subjects.

9. Cultivate small talk and avoid criticizing people.

10. Do not embarrass others by pointing out obvious contradictions.

The list could be extended to comprise a hundred commandments. The issue is to determine whether those recommendations lead to friendship or to something else. What are the results of following such advice?

Exhortations to avoid personal conflict may be meant to protect your career, but they possess a fatal weakness. Their effectiveness in hiding your true opinions becomes, at the same time, the poison that prevents you from developing any kind of deep, satisfying, involved personal relation.

Rational people do not choose their friends amongst those who avoid firm commitments, appear self-effacing, and sugar-coat their remarks. Playing down your personal views in order to please strangers will certainly minimize the amount of conflict in your life, but it will also render you invisible to potential friends, that is, those who share your values and convictions.

Being yourself is the first step to build satisfactory relationships. If you choose to dissimulate your interests and beliefs for the sake of conformity, you might be accepted by a certain community, but only as an empty human shell. Is it worth it to give up your personality in order to enter a space where you essentially don’t belong?

From time to time, when a situation so requires, it may be advisable for you to refrain speaking out your mind. Those cases tend to be exceptional in modern society. As a general rule, a man is better off by letting his philosophy inspire his words and gestures so that others can see him the way he is. In practical terms, this is what an open attitude entails:

* Reserve your acts of kindness for people you like.

* Do discuss about ideas, principles, and ethics.

* If you believe that you are objectively right, take a clear position.

* Remain open to examine evidence that contradicts your views.

* When you make a mistake, apologize, and learn for the future.

* Be polite, but if someone tries to force something upon you, just say no.

* By pointing out contradictions to people who are willing to listen, you might prevent a catastrophe from occurring.

* Seek truth and steer clear of insincere people. Liars are the sort of persons that you don’t want to have in your life.

* Choose deep, involved conversations over nonsensical, time-wasting trite.

A realistic theory of friendship begins with a commonality of interests and values. A life filled with empty social engagements is tantamount to an endless nightmare from which you never wake up. Seek out people who appreciate profound discussions and share your rational beliefs.

Offer consistency between form and substance and fly high the flag of your convictions. Be yourself and you will not fail to attract your perfect social match. True friendship is what binds those who share the same road and move forward in the same direction.

JOHN VESPASIAN writes about rational living and is the author of the novel “When Everything Fails, Try This.” He has resided in New York, Madrid, Paris and Munich. His stories reflect the values of entrepreneurship, tolerance and self-reliance. See John Vespasian’s blog about rational living.

http://johnvespasian.blogspot.com/

Dock Murphy asked:


Cooperation is the key to success in any business and workers who can work together can mean the difference between success or failure. By making friends with co-workers it can ease competition for the affection of the boss and help allay any suspicion that you are going to stab the other folks in the back to further your own career. Being friends does not necessarily mean going out to dinner and having family picnics in the park together, but it does mean that in the workplace, a spirit of cooperation can go a long way to show that you and your friends have the best interests in the company at heart.

There may also be times when you fall behind in your work and with friends in the office, they might be more tempted to help you through a few rough spots than if you treat them as adversaries in the workplace. They will also be more amenable to come to your defense if a project is not done exactly right.

On the flip side, you will have to repay them in kind, by covering for them while they are on vacation or they require assistance on a project in which they are involved. The hard part comes in when the friendship exceeds the boundaries of the office. If for some reason the people develop a dislike for each other while participating in an activity outside the office, it could have detrimental effect on their workplace demeanor.

While friendships between co-workers on the same level in the pecking order are generally acceptable, it is never a good idea to try to be friends with the boss. Others may see this as an attempt to cozy up to the boss and if the supervisor does become friends with an underling, it could prompt accusations of favoritism. Any one who supervises others should never begin a friendship outside of work with a person who reports directly or indirectly to them.

If a friendship develops between to people on the same rung of the corporate ladder, they should keep in mind the possibility of one being promoted to higher position and know the friendship will most likely be in trouble as a result. It can really cause a friendship to become strained if one is appointed as the other’s supervisor on a temporary basis, as there may be attempts to use the friendship to receive special considerations. Whenever one is promoted over the other, regardless of what they say, there will probably be hard feelings directed at the one with the new position.

Romantic friendships in an office rarely work out, and when they break up it can lead to uncomfortable consequences for them as well as for their co-workers. Friendships can work out in the office, provided they are maintained on a professional level.

Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke, family relationship coach asked:


Making friends is a skill, just like playing the piano or riding a bike. Skills can be learned and behaviors can be changed. While it may require more effort for some people to be comfortable in groups, it can be learned, especially if the child is willing to put forth the effort and knows that she has your support.

Be sure to encourage a child’s positive efforts to get along with peers and to find a friend, even when it appears that such attempts are not meeting with success. Remind her of the fine qualities that she has that will add to the friendship when just the right person comes along.

Another reminder is that making just the right friend for her may take some time and not to give up. Help her to see what she has to offer as a friend. For example, you might say: “I really appreciate it when my friends call me and invite me places. It makes me feel welcome and accepted. Even on the times when I am not able to go, I still feel good to know they thought of me. That is why I treat them with kindness and respect, because that is how I want to be treated.”

In my workshops I find it helpful to make a list of what people look for in a friend. You may want to make such a list with your child. After brainstorming it is easy to include such things as:

• Trustworthy

• Kind and compassionate

• Willing to share happy and sad times

• Loyal, will watch my back

• Sense of humor

• Positive attitude, upbeat

• Similar interests

• Fun to be with

• Not be too possessive or needy

• Cooperative

• Enjoys being with me

If you look at the list, almost never does it include psychical attributes, they are all character traits and inner personal skills. If we don’t have those skills, we can work on obtaining them by practicing a little each day until it becomes automatic action. It is this attitude of openness and willingness to share that is communicated to those we would like to be our friends.

The irony is that people, young and old, tend to blame outward appearances for lack of friends, when it is the inward attitudes and character traits that are longed for in friendship. We are not searching for lovely nearly as much as loyalty in a companion and buddy.

When we realize that it is not our big ears, speech impediment or color of skin that stops others from befriending us, as much as it is how we treat others and feel about ourselves, we will have more to offer a friendship. As you encourage making a list of what the child is looking for in a friend, be sure to mention that appearances may be deceiving. She may very well know many in her class who are also looking for just the right person to hang around with.

Hopefully, your child will draw her own conclusions that she is a valuable person and has much to bring to a relationship. And likewise, there may very well be many people who meet the criteria of a friend that she has been overlooking.

It is more empowering for a child to list her own positive qualities that will make her a valuable friend than for you to do it for her. This is her work, but you are the support team. You cannot make your child happy, popular, talented or attractive to other children. If you think you can, you will be setting both of you up for disappointment and a great deal of frustration.

What you can do is offer her suggestions, assistance, opportunities and options. Hopefully, she will recognize the clues of social interaction and ‘click’ with a good group of friends who will support her in her school years and become life long buddies.

How you manage social situations affects the way your children view social interaction. If you have meaningful relationships that add pleasure to your life, they will see that and want to have the same thing.

I also do Confidence Coaching for young adults (8 to 18) Call me for more information.

© 2008 by Judy H. Wright, Parent Educator, Author and international speaker on family relations. Ph: 406.549.9813 You may reprint this article, but please keep the contact information and content intact.

For Free articles and to sign up for the e-zine The Artichoke-finding the heart of the story in the journey of life please go to www.ArtichokePress.com You will also find a full listing of books, workshops, and Free teleclasses held every Thursday on family relationship issues.

For a free eBook on non verbal and verbal communication go to

Vikram kuamr asked:


It is quite often that many people find themselves losing touch with friends as their lives go in different directions.  Whether you have moved to a new city or have simply drifted apart from childhood friends, many people have found themselves in need of new friendships.  However, it is not that easy to make new friends.

When it comes to making friends, one cannot just walk down the street and introduce yourself to someone you deem to have lots in common to you.  It’s not that easy.  You can make friends at work or at school but it is ideal to meet people that have interests similar to yours.  In turn, you will have a better relationship as you can do the things you mutually like together. 

It is ideal to meet people that are a reflection of your own personality.  For example, if you are someone who likes to stay in and watch movies, it is not ideal to look for a friend who frequents the nightlife and goes out every other day of the week.  If you are a girly girl and likes to go to spas and get manis and pedis, it is better for you to search for someone who likes to do the same.

With the help of technology, it is now a lot easier to make new friends then it was 10 years ago.  With all the new social networking sites that are currently available on the internet, making friends has become a lot less difficult. 

However, you may want to find a site where all other members are also looking for friendship.  It is not ideal to go to a dating site or a regular social network and begin requesting friendship from its members.  You want to find a site that is catered specifically for people looking to make new friends.

It is now easy for women in particular to find friendship with other women online.  At a website called Chummychums, women can now create profiles detailing all aspects of their personality, upload photos and begin their journey of making friends.  They can browse profiles of women in their local area and filter friends out according to their interests.  Women have the capability of showing their musical preferences, showing how frequently they enjoy the nightlife, whether or not they have children, and much more. 

Here you will find other members looking for new buddies, just as you are.  This is very important.  Chummychums is also a platform for women to be able to interact and express themselves.  Women can participate in forums and discuss issues that are important to them.  They can also blog about themselves or any other topic they feel strongly about. 

Chummychums provides all the means necessary to make new friends.  Girl friends can contact each other via email messages, via chat rooms and even instant messenger.  We all recognize that we need friends to share special moments in our lives with.  On Chummychums, you will not have a difficult time making friends.

Ray Shane asked:


There are many lonely hearts out there in this world who are searching for life partners or looking for romantic relationships, but their busy lifestyles don’t permit them the time that is needed to find out and search for such partners and nurture a relationship with them. It is for people like these that the numerous internet dating sites, speed dating sites, romantic dating sites, friendship site and local dating sites have blossomed all over the internet and are doing great business.

All that you need to do is to sign up for a make new friends or romantic dating or speed dating site and create an interesting, peppy and charming profile with numerous attractive photographs of yours. Through these sites, you will get to date many members of the opposite *** and if luck favours, you may find your Mr. Right or Ms. Right.

But the problem with these people who sign up for romantic dating sites or internet dating sites is that they sometimes get so desperate to hook up that they end up making a complete fool of themselves in front of their dates. When you are single and don’t have anyone in your life with whom you want to share everything, you definitely feel unhappy and left out, especially when you see your friends hitched and happy. But don’t let your desperation overpower you.

You have to learn how to take the dating game seriously without showing the seriousness. And you can never become free and easy with the opposite *** unless you become friends with your date first.

Often it has been noticed that people who chat garrulously over the internet dating sites become quite tongue tied and ill at ease, when they actually meet their date in public. This is normal. To tide over this shyness, the best thing is to become friends with your date and treat him/her normally, but with respect as you would do your friend. This will help to break the ice and get the conversation going.

Ideally, even during the online dating period, you should mix with the opposite *** in a friendly manner and share positive vibes with that person. By mixing freely and easily, both of you will get to know each other better and will be able to share your views and opinions. This will help you to judge the other person better and know him/her and very soon you will be able to judge whether your date is perfect as your life partner or not.

And then you can go out with her/him. This is the reason why making friends first before dating someone is a more feasible and clever idea. The unique dating site FriendsorMates.com will be able to help you better in this regard with their huge pool of informative articles.

Jane Saeman asked:


Friends are not easy to find once you into a working environment. If you have childhood friends around that’s great, but many people move far away from where they grew up, and contact with those they used to confide in becomes increasingly difficult. Finding the time to meet new people, and then spend enough time to get to a level where you trust them enough to confide in isn’t easy, especially if you’re also looking for a partner and using your free time to date.

If you are someone who feels more comfortable with the opposite sex, then dating is a great way of making friends. There are very few people who date only one person and then commit to them for the rest of their lives. The usual scenario is that you date a number of people who have quite a lot of things in common with you, until you find the one that you really connect with on a deeper level. The fact that you have been on a personal, if not intimate, level with the people you date puts you in a good position to transition these once potential dates into friendships.

There’s a problem with this in that any future people you, or your ex date, go out with may not like the relationship and try to break it. This makes the friendship a little precarious, but as time passes, the bond of friendship and trust becomes one that both of you will be reluctant to break — both of you appreciating what you get from the platonic relationship — and so it becomes more secure. Even so, if you, or your friend, find a partner that they intend to make a permanent fixture in their lives your friendship together may have to be severed in order for that to happen.

Even if you’re not really interested in having a deeper relationship with someone, there’s nothing to stop you going out on casual dates. There are plenty of other people out there who enjoy having one-on-one time with another person without it having to lead to a “serious relationship”. You may get a reputation for being a habitual dater, but that’s just a label that someone who dates looking for a partner puts on it. There’s nothing wrong in using the dating scene as a social meeting arena! Make your intentions known up front and you’ll get to meet a number of people who have similar interests to your own, but aren’t going to expect anything other than friendship in return for the time spent together.

If a serious relationship isn’t what you’re looking for, but you would like to find a few more friends, trying some casual dating and you’ll meet some interesting people. You aren’t guaranteed to build a true friendship with any or all of them, but at the very least, you’ll have a good time exploring the possibility!

Sean Carter asked:


Friendship and friends continue to remain central to our lives. The relationship that we share with our friends is grounded in a mutual concern as our friends help us in shaping up our personalities as well. Even in this age of online social networking and ecards, the need of expanding the network of friends, whether online or offline remains a primary concern for people. We may have a very vague understanding of what makes a friend but we all want to have a good many number of friends around us.

Research has shown that the quality and nature of your friends are one of the key influencing factors in achieving happiness, self esteem, and satisfaction. Friends often affect the health and energy of a person as well. More and more people are increasingly turning towards their friendsfor for support and mutual sharing rather than communicating to their relatives; and this sociological phenomenon has escalated the desire to make more friends. Though friendship is an impulsive relationship developed between two autonomous individuals marked by a voluntary, emotional and mutual concern, but there are certain steps, which, if implemented can win you friends or at least help you get close to those whom you want to make your friends.

The first step to make friends with someone is to make them like you. If they don’t like you in the first place, it is unlikely that they’ll be eager to become your friends. To let someone know that you are genuinely interested in them, simple gestures like a little smile and calling him by his name can lay the basic foundation. To make the other person feel important you need to be a good listener and encourage the other person to talk. Give your honest and sincere opinion but do not overtly criticize or make fun of him or her.

The second step of making someone your friend is to develop a mutual consideration between each other. You need to share his or her perspective and for that it is necessary for you to develop an inclination to see things from the other person’s point of view. To become best of friends you must show a genuine concern and consideration for your friend’s desires and opinions.

The third and final step towards friendship is to show your unconditional support and encouragement towards your friend. Moreover, you also need to be very clear about your expectations from your friend. If what you expect from the person you want to befriend, matches with what that person can and want to contribute in friendship, the developing friendship between you and your friend is assured to flourish, making both of you gratified with mutual emotional bonding.

Friendship has overwhelming significance on both social and individual level. Friendship doesn’t only provide us with emotional as well as utilitarian support but it also helps us to improve our personal identities. So it is quite natural to feel the urge to reach out and make new friends, expanding your friend’s circle. Using the internet and the associated services like free friendship ecards come as a natural extension to this escalating aspiration. Friendship remains familiar yet quite ambiguous for our deeper understanding of this elusive relationship but then again, friends remain the most important ingredients in the recipe of life!

Frank McGinty asked:


As the new school term gets under way, many children entering high school worry about making new friends. Without being in their face, there’s a lot parents can do to help them with this major change in their lives.

Step 1: It may seem obvious, but ENCOURAGE your kids to make friends. Help them see it as a new adventure, something enjoyable and exciting. This will help reduce any fear and anxiety. The more positive and outgoing they are, the better chance they’ll have of meeting and attracting new friends.

Step 2: One of the best ways to make new friends in high school is to get involved in clubs and activities. Whether we care to admit it or not, we base our friendships on what we get from others! People who share our interests become our friends; people who have radically different preferences and temperaments don’t become our friends! So when your kids join clubs that suit their interests, they will meet like-minded people. And by doing things together they will forge new bonds.

Step 3: Encourage your kids to invite their new friends home, perhaps even staying for a sleepover once the friendship is established. This is a great way of helping your kids develop their social skills. It ensures they are in a safe environment, plus it helps you to monitor the friendships!

Step 4: However, try to avoid the common parental trait of being too fussy! Often the type of people WE want as friends for our kids are not the ones they would choose. Be tolerant and less critical. If you become aware of unacceptable attitudes or behavior, that’s different. By all means let’s HELP our kids by pointing out anything that violates our standards, but hang back if you simply dislike the way someone talks or what they wear or their taste in music! You never know, you may gather valuable insight into what really makes your own kids tick. And remember – it takes all sorts to make the world go round!

Step 5: Impress upon your kids that not all friendships last and the teenage years are a time of exploration. Kids tend to develop new interests as the school years progress, and often this leads to the break-up of old friendships and the forging of new ones. It can be upsetting, but it’s a fact of life! Explaining this sympathetically can help your kids be brave and stoical. You can also remind your child that he or she may have dropped an old friend in favor of a new one, and that person may be unhappy as a result.

And finally:

* Comfort your kids when they feel let down by friends. Keep encouraging them to participate in more activities and this will help them find more friends.

* When your kids visit their friends’ homes, especially if they are sleeping over, make sure you have contact information and know exactly where they are.