Nick Sanders asked:


Most students study abroad with the intent of making new friends and immersing themselves in a new culture and new community. However, many students end up forming a group with other students from their home country and not making the most of the brilliant opportunity they have. The first thing to do when you decide to study abroad is to work on gaining self confidence, and read some news reports on the country you are going too. Give yourself some background knowledge and something to talk about. Then, make sure you know enough of the language to have conversations with others.

When you reach your destination country, remember that you are going to have to put effort into making friends. Local students may seem standoffish, but are probably just waiting for you to break the ice. The first group of students to start with is other international students studying with you. These are students in your situation, and will want to make friends too. You can make a variety of friends from different countries in this way, and find people to socialise with and practise the country’s language with.

Next, don’t presume that orientation seminars or ice breaker events are pointless, as they are there to help you make friends. Activities such as sticking your name to your head or talking about yourself for two minutes may seem daunting, but will help you make global friendships. Attend a few, and you’ll make many friends in a very easy way. Universities hold these events to encourage everyone to make friends, and they are usually tried and tested methods.
If you want to make friends with locals, you will then need to arrange social gatherings outside of university time. Make sure you are always safe and that somebody knows where you are; make sure you aren’t wandering alone, and take money and a map. Go to different surroundings, and see who you’ll meet there. You might meet friends in malls or clubs, or less obvious places such as coffee shops. Remember that as long as you are friendly and polite most people will respond positively to you, and try talking to different groups of people. Local teenagers will know the best places to hang out, but local adults will know where to get cheap or fresh food, and where student deals are available. However, make sure that you know the customs of the local area, and try not to offend anyone. Watch what you wear and say, and if you are somewhere with strong beliefs, then you should adhere to them. Cover yourself up if necessary, or take off your jewellery. If you meet a special someone, keep public displays to a minimum and research the local laws for your area. In some countries, kissing outside can gain you a caution! Your university should have information on the area if you need some, or try googling it. You will struggle to make friends if you don’t appear to respect the country’s boundaries.

Finally, there is nothing wrong with becoming friends with other people from your home country, but don’t limit yourself. While you will probably become best friends with someone who is at your Uni, you will miss out on a lot of the pleasures of being a student studying abroad if you don’t make the most of the social opportunities it gives you. Remember to use your language skills, take photos and make friends, and you’ll have a brilliant time.

jANINE asked:


Autistic children on the whole have issues when it comes to making and keeping friends.

Sometimes they can find themselves as the targets for bullies, because of their lack of social understanding and on occasion’s odd behavior, language and unusual pre-occupations and tendencies.

Their lack of understanding and ability to respond in socially expected ways to nonverbal cues can lead to conflict or being ignored by others. Children with Asperger’s syndrome will sometimes be extremely literal and may find interpreting and responding to sarcasm or banter difficult….And may well not understand what has been said or done.

Children with mild autism, will often want to be social, but have trouble making friends. This can lead to later withdrawal and antisocial behavior, especially in adolescence.

Therefore, the sooner an autistic child learns how to make appropriate friendships the better. It can help reduce problems, like bullying and lead to better relationships with people who aren’t on the spectrum.

It is easy as a non-autistic person to forget how complex social skills are;

For example:

• How to enter into other children’s activity

• How to allow another child to enter into your own game or activity

• Knowing when someone needs help, and how to find help, also how to get help from others.

• Giving and receiving compliments at the right time.

• Understanding about positive criticism, when and how to give.

• Being able to accept and handle criticism from others

• Accepting the ideas and suggestions of others, and what to do with them

• Controlling negative situations and turning them into a positive

• Learning how to act appropriately at home and in public

• Understanding body language, and ****** expressions

• Understanding and using “nick names”, appropriate use of words, like swear words, or rude gestures and words.

• Taking part in conversation.

• Managing disagreement with compromise instead of aggression or emotional outbursts

• Accepting not everybody will agree with you, and recognizing peoples opinions can at time vary.

• Empathizing with others in both positive and negative situations

• How to leave an activity or situation without causing offense.

Non-autistic children will learn these social skills in an unconscious and intuitive way, by observing and interacting with everyone around them.

However with autism these skills are not normally learnt in such a way, and need to be learnt in a more definite manner.

For example:

“Autism Social Skills Stories”

Social stories are used as a tool in helping people with autism focus and learn social skills in a positive manner. Skills like learning to ask questions, or how to control anger, what are nick names and so on.

Using autism social skills stories can increase your child’s ability to make and maintain friendships-by giving your child clear social cues on how to get and keep a friend.

Plus how to act in all situations and activities, making your child more confident and ultimately helping them to make those friendships they need to fit into their environment.

We all need friends, a good friend can be like gold dust, and by using social skills stories your autistic child can maintain normal friendships.